Eric Schreeck (novadrome) wrote in uxg,
Eric Schreeck

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INCEST! The Card Game

About the time of the Edwardian Ball Los Angeles, I introduced new friends to the delightfully wicked parlor game known as INCEST!

Similar in some respects to UNO and, to a some lesser extent, Hearts.

A salty distraction hearkening back to the early 15th Century (or maybe I just made it up!), INCEST is meant to be both a slightly clever poke at the alleged inbreeding practices of many a Royal bloodline and a bawdy good time!

Here thar be rulez --

INCEST a simple game of amusement to be played with cards for 3 or more players.

The Deck:  Known as "The Realm", it houses the suits, or "Kingdoms"  Only the Royal cards are used from any number of similar decks.  My sample Realm is two Bicycle Pinochle decks, one with red backs and one with blue backs, strictly to amuse myself.  Mine is 60 cards, 4x4 of each royal suit (Knaves (or Jacks), Queens, and Kings) plus 3x3 of each suit of Angels (Aces).  The Aces of Spades have been removed as this card represents the Angel of Death and is bad luck.

Object: The object of the game is to get rid of your cards. The first player to do so is the victor.  The value of the cards is from lowest to highest, Knaves, Queens, Kings, Angels.

I suggest six cards each for three players.  Beyond that, I’m not sure.  I have not yet had the pleasure to play with more than an even three.  That is to say…let’s move on!

The other cards are placed to the side in the Conquest Heap.  Cards in players' hands are not shown to other players.  The first player is chosen arbitrarily and yes, it can be the dealer.  I suggest a die roll or a drawing of straw.  Play proceeds clockwise.  The first player places a card of their choice face up into the gaming area.

The next player then tries to place a card equal or  higher than the last played.  If the card played is of a different suit, play continues clockwise.  If the card played is of the same suit, the one who places the card exclaims "Keep it in the family!" and the next player must either play a card of equal or greater value in the SAME SUIT or else take a card.  Play continues clockwise with the same rules until a playable card can be used.  The player whom initiated the special rule may play against their own card. Shouts of “Stop The Madness!” once the cycle is broken are optional.

If the current player has no equal or higher card, they can play any card of the same suit but must exclaim, "Incest!", which the other players repeat with gusto and take another card from the Conquest Heap. Note that a card MUST be of equal or greater value AND the same suit if player is next up after a shout of “Keep it in the family!”  Play continues clockwise.

If the current player has no playable cards, they take one card from the Conquest Heap and play continues clockwise.

If no cards can be played for an entire round, the first player must play against their own selection.

If the Conquest Heap is used up during a game, flip the Discard pile, shuffle and use.  If there is no Discard pile to use, the game is over and the player with the least amount of cards is the victor.

If anybody actually has a go at this, let me know.  Oh, and feel free to offer adjustments to the above phraseology, adjustments to the rules, or your favorite teatime traditions.

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